Day 240  My Struggle………..

I have to admit stepping out of my comfort zone has been a little (a lot) scary for me. I’ve been doing so much soul searching lately. I look back on my past and I realized I’ve really never been good at trying new things. Why? Fear!! Fear of rejection, fear of being made fun of, fear of being talked about, and fear of failure. I would love to have the attitude I don’t care what you think, which I do in some aspects of my life. When it comes to being a mom and my Christian values I have a mouthpiece. When it comes to me I have none! I don’t want to pass this on to my children. As long as they are not doing anything to hurt someone else they should have the ability to make their dreams come true no matter who thinks their ideas are crazy. Let’s face it people are mean and cruel. Most will smile to your face and as soon as you turn around they are talking about you. I used to be like that before I got saved. I really try to just show kindness to everyone and it does hurt when you find out someone you thought was a friend is talking bad about you. I’ve always heard you can count your real friends on one hand. Sometimes, I wonder how true that is. I think I have a few more now because of my church family. I know some very good people. Those are the people whose opinions should matter. Not the busy bodies trying to tear others down. So, it’s like this; as crazy as it sounds because of fear I’ve done three things in my life where I stepped out of my comfort zone and put myself in situations to be ridiculed and be talked about. None took place till after the age of 38, I’m going to be 43!
1. Publishing/Writing children’s books. It was a dream, made it happen, no I’m not on any best sellers list but I just wanted to make one child happy. Mission Accomplished!
2. Writing a blog for yr about My Struggle with dieting/exercise. Again I just want people to know they are not alone. Don’t have but about 80 followers but they are the reason I do it. Mission in progress 
3. Zumba ,my gosh this probably should have done before my 40’s. This is my biggest put yourself out there to be eaten up by the wolves thing I’ve done. I can’t count the number of times I wanted to just back out due to my weight, afraid of looking dumb, not being able to do certain moves, and my number one reason : because I’m going to be made fun of. I just want to lose weight and have fun doing it. I hope people will come when I do a class for the same reasons. Number one thing on my flyer is going to say “Judge Free Zone”. 
I’ll never get back the past. All I have is the future! So I just want to try and live a little and do some things I want without worrying what others think about it! Don’t wait till your older because it’s so much harder.
Let me tell you, My Struggle is Real!

It’s still early but I plan to eat well today!  It’s only 1:30 and I have half my steps in with 47 active minutes of Zumba of course.

Have a great day!

Thanks so much for reading and God Bless!

3 thoughts on “Day 240  My Struggle………..

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