It’s really been four months?

I log on to WordPress and it says it’s been four months since my last blog. I guess I’ve been at a loss for words. (Pun intended). I’m sure none of my followers has lost sleep over this. I did on the other hand did have a period of some lack of sleep for no apparent reasons.

I haven’t blogged because the last few months have been stressful to me and I think I have been sad. I do not handle stress well. I looked up stress and it’s just a way your body responds to demands and threats. They say your body goes into a fight or flight mode. I believe my body does this on a regular basis and there is really no threats or demands that are in my life that are worth the pain and headaches this causes within itself.

I get stressed very easily. If there is too many things to do in the upcoming week I stress till every little task is completed. This explains the last four months. There has been so much more added to my daily life that I’m trying to adjust. Then there is the regular stress that most people have already in their life financial, family, careers. Those alone can send someone into a stress related coma.

When I get stressed my body tenses up more than normal. My muscles stay tight already so it’s like I turn into a brick wall literally. Then if I feel my todo list is more than I can handle I start an elimination process. I get rid of anything extra I have planned to do that week that doesn’t need to be done. These things are basically extra curricular activities I’ve set for myself. It could be time I set aside to exercise, time I planned on doing my prayer journal, sit outside and drink a cup of tea, or family time.

When I look at what I take out of my stressful week to make it easier. I’ve actually took out everything that could potentially make life less stressful. It’s just at the time when I’m focused on seeing the weekly tasks ahead I put them all together and it turns into my mind seeing everything needs done now mode. So, I take out anything I can for it to seem less bewildering to me.

No, I’m not blogging to complain but to maybe help someone like me. I know that this way of dealing with things is not healthy. It’s just hard to change when you’ve been this way your whole life.

The last three weeks have been especially crazy for me. I’ve been so stressed out I’ve either been on the verge of tears or biting someone’s head off for no apparent reason other than I lost control figuring out how to deal with life.

Honestly my life isn’t really stressful just normal. I just make it stressful by not dealing with deadlines and daily tasks as well as most people can.

For instances, if I have more than one extra thing to do in a day that was not expected. I stress out till that day is over. I’m such a planner that when things happen and I have to change or move things that I’ve already set in my head to do. I go crazy until I can make it work. I’m definitely not one of those fly by the seat of pants kind of people. I’m also one who is not at least fifteen minutes early to an appointment I consider myself late. Lol

The only thing that kept me sane the last few weeks was praying. If the Lord did not help me see things differently I think I would have had a nervous breakdown by Thanksgiving. If I do not learn to control stress it will control me. It has already caused physical ailments here and there. If God forbid something big happens I’d probably end up in the grave because if I can’t deal with little things, big things will take me down.

The thing is I pray more for others than myself. Which it is great to pray for others. Just don’t forget that your important too. When I finally decided to get down off the pity pot. I stopped and prayed about everything that was going in my life that overwhelmed me. I actually was able to be grateful for how God intervened on my behalf. He made what looked to me as a mountain in the beginning seem as just a little bump in the road when it was over.

I guess I’m blogging after four months of not to say. Take one day at a time because you can only take care of present. The past is gone and the future isn’t promised. I’d hate to think I wasted a beautiful day and end up dying before the day I worried about came.

It’s not easy for me to do what I know is right. I know prayer changes things. I know God won’t let me down or give up on me. The struggle of life is real. Just hang in there if you feel the way I’ve been the last few months. Keep praying and when things change you will be stronger for what you endured.

Thank You so much for reading and God Bless!