It’s really been four months?

I log on to WordPress and it says it’s been four months since my last blog. I guess I’ve been at a loss for words. (Pun intended). I’m sure none of my followers has lost sleep over this. I did on the other hand did have a period of some lack of sleep for no apparent reasons.

I haven’t blogged because the last few months have been stressful to me and I think I have been sad. I do not handle stress well. I looked up stress and it’s just a way your body responds to demands and threats. They say your body goes into a fight or flight mode. I believe my body does this on a regular basis and there is really no threats or demands that are in my life that are worth the pain and headaches this causes within itself.

I get stressed very easily. If there is too many things to do in the upcoming week I stress till every little task is completed. This explains the last four months. There has been so much more added to my daily life that I’m trying to adjust. Then there is the regular stress that most people have already in their life financial, family, careers. Those alone can send someone into a stress related coma.

When I get stressed my body tenses up more than normal. My muscles stay tight already so it’s like I turn into a brick wall literally. Then if I feel my todo list is more than I can handle I start an elimination process. I get rid of anything extra I have planned to do that week that doesn’t need to be done. These things are basically extra curricular activities I’ve set for myself. It could be time I set aside to exercise, time I planned on doing my prayer journal, sit outside and drink a cup of tea, or family time.

When I look at what I take out of my stressful week to make it easier. I’ve actually took out everything that could potentially make life less stressful. It’s just at the time when I’m focused on seeing the weekly tasks ahead I put them all together and it turns into my mind seeing everything needs done now mode. So, I take out anything I can for it to seem less bewildering to me.

No, I’m not blogging to complain but to maybe help someone like me. I know that this way of dealing with things is not healthy. It’s just hard to change when you’ve been this way your whole life.

The last three weeks have been especially crazy for me. I’ve been so stressed out I’ve either been on the verge of tears or biting someone’s head off for no apparent reason other than I lost control figuring out how to deal with life.

Honestly my life isn’t really stressful just normal. I just make it stressful by not dealing with deadlines and daily tasks as well as most people can.

For instances, if I have more than one extra thing to do in a day that was not expected. I stress out till that day is over. I’m such a planner that when things happen and I have to change or move things that I’ve already set in my head to do. I go crazy until I can make it work. I’m definitely not one of those fly by the seat of pants kind of people. I’m also one who is not at least fifteen minutes early to an appointment I consider myself late. Lol

The only thing that kept me sane the last few weeks was praying. If the Lord did not help me see things differently I think I would have had a nervous breakdown by Thanksgiving. If I do not learn to control stress it will control me. It has already caused physical ailments here and there. If God forbid something big happens I’d probably end up in the grave because if I can’t deal with little things, big things will take me down.

The thing is I pray more for others than myself. Which it is great to pray for others. Just don’t forget that your important too. When I finally decided to get down off the pity pot. I stopped and prayed about everything that was going in my life that overwhelmed me. I actually was able to be grateful for how God intervened on my behalf. He made what looked to me as a mountain in the beginning seem as just a little bump in the road when it was over.

I guess I’m blogging after four months of not to say. Take one day at a time because you can only take care of present. The past is gone and the future isn’t promised. I’d hate to think I wasted a beautiful day and end up dying before the day I worried about came.

It’s not easy for me to do what I know is right. I know prayer changes things. I know God won’t let me down or give up on me. The struggle of life is real. Just hang in there if you feel the way I’ve been the last few months. Keep praying and when things change you will be stronger for what you endured.

Thank You so much for reading and God Bless!


Day 352   My Struggle……..

The weekend is finally here and I’m so glad. This has been a stressful week! Today, was not much better. Making up for it tonight by sitting outside by a fire.

My day started out by taking my daughter’s car to town to get it aligned. Come to find out it needs struts and springs before that can be done. More money that she nor I can afford to be spending.

I came home cleaned house and picked the kids up from school. Then I’ve decided I’m going to relax this weekend if it kills me.  If the weeks are going to stressful, I need the weekends to be tranquil. I know this won’t be possible all the time but it’s at least something to try for.

I almost got in my steps. I will get them in before bed. My eating is off today. Hopefully the s’mores won’t set me back to bad.

Hope you have a relaxing weekend!

Thanks so much for reading and God Bless!

Day  64  My Struggle……

So today I was off work. Didn’t get near as much done as I expected or wanted to. I came home and took a nap that I desperately needed. I stayed up too late making sure my oldest was okay. She messaged me last night to tell me she sprained her ankle. Then I kinda stayed by my iPad for messages ;she went to the Dr three times. Once to school campus,then for  X-ray, then back to have a boot put on because she fractured it. It’s a small fracture and thankfully the bone is still in place. I hate she’s not home so I can take care of her. She is supposed to be home tomorrow thank goodness. Except I’m not sure yet if she’s going to be able to drive here.

So I haven’t binged on food but I also have failed on steps today. I am hoping to get some energy and at least get them in if I have to do it by walking in place. I only have in 5000 and it’s 7pm!

So I got over my pumpkin spice. I love eggnog but it’s high in calories and very fattening. So I settled for soy nog. It’s not bad but it’s not the good stuff either. Then I couldn’t believe my eyes, Little Debbie has came out with egg nog rolls. I couldn’t resist and bought a box. I ate one and they taste just like egg nog. My son likes them so I shouldn’t have them around long. They are 260 calories each! Why did I start this journey in the middle of the holidays? 

Let you all know tomorrow if I get in my steps.

Thanks for reading and God Bless!